Was Yasodhara Sleeping? + IN-PROGRESS 12/31/25

(No, she was NOT sleeping).

A short, elliptical chapter that opens a much broader field of inquiry. We’ve now returned to the timeline with which we opened: Siddhartha, on the verge of enlightenment, has met the two young children, Sujata (who gave him the milk that saved his life), and Svasti (the buffalo boy initiate). Svasti meets the former Queen Gotami, the Buddha’s second mother, and a close friend of Princess Yasodhara for many years. He asks now-Abbess Gotami: “had Yasodhara really been sleeping or only pretending to be asleep the night Siddhartha pulled back the curtain before his departure?” (111). 

... Silly question, little Svasti. He' s young, still learning, I guess. Gotami patiently explains it for him: 

“If you ask me, I don’t believe she was. Yasodhara herself had prepared Siddhartha’s garments, hat and shoes, and placed them on his chair…. She knew the prince would leave that very night. How could she sleep on such a night? I believe she only pretended to be asleep in order to avoid a painful parting for Siddhartha and herself” (112). 

Not only was Yasodhara not sleeping, she was doubly conscious, doubly aware: conscious, as in literally not asleep as Siddhartha came into the room ostensibly to say goodbye; and conscious, too, of the fact that any additional goodbye would be “painful” and only make things more difficult. That’s the surface content, which positions Yasodhara as wise, mature, and a little self-sacrificing. But here’s the deeper read: TRUST. Recall that in her prophetic dreams before Siddhartha’s departure, and in her conversations with Siddhartha himself, he promised her that he would return—whether he found the Way or not. If she eschewed the need for a drawn-out farewell scene, it was likely because Yasodhara knew that this wasn’t goodbye at all: that Siddhartha would return, in one form or another, and they would meet again soon. 

Gotami continues: 

“Yasodhara… is a woman of great determination. She understood Siddhartha’s intent and quietly gave him her wholehearted support. I know this more clearly than anyone else, for of all those close to Yasodhara, I was the closest, next to Siddhartha” (112).

A woman of great determination, indeed. From my initial research into Yasodhara’s life story, I learned that she is one of the few women to attain Buddhahood and in the six years of Siddhartha’s absence, she dons a yellow robe, takes only one meal a day, and devotes herself to meditation. (Joined by Queen Gotami, it seems—they became great friends and allies to one another). I hope that we can hear some of this story from Yasodhara herself. If not, rest assured, I’ll find a book about Yasodhara and report back. 

More soon. This was a short one, a warm-up.

IN-PROGRESS TODAY: 12/31/25 (LAST DAY OF THE YEAR)

• Wicked: For Good — Early Takes (Still in progress from yesterday, around 4:00 pm)

• New Years’ Reflection of Some Kind (Evening/Night, before 9:00 pm)